9/30/08 Sedona Observations, Critters & Crazy Folk

Brief Notes & Observations from Your Sedona Blogger:

1) It’s been weeks since any tourists have asked me “Where’s John McCain’s house?”

2) Italian tourists drink lots o’ espresso, but very few buy art.

3) Blue Oyster Cult is playing in Cottonwood on October 11th for the Rhythm & Ribs Festival . Kinda bizarre.

4) Speaking of musicians, a dozen friends of mine have met country musician & WV native, Brad Paisley -- a couple without having a clue that he was a singer. But, alas, I never have. He’s the only celeb I’d like to corner for an autograph. I DID once get an email from Bear Grylls. LOL.

5) A buddy of mine was stung on the butt by a brown scorpion. He tells me he was lying in bed, about to drift off to sleep -- a sharp pinch jolted him full awake. He threw back the covers! Watched a scorpion scamper across the sheet and leap off the mattress to the floor where it hid under the bed. (OK, I made up the part about the scorpion “leaping,” but the rest of the story is true.)

6) Some people shouldn’t watch TV. They’re too impressionable. One such person went store-to-store through Uptown Sedona yesterday passing out manifesto-style leaflets condemning Sedona for catering to tourists, for selling art to the rich, for not wearing underwear -- OK, it didn’t actually condemn anyone for not wearing underwear, but its message meandered into so many regions of illogical hate, that I expected a mention of underwear. Eventually, the message scornfully warned that wealthy tourists would be soon begging along the streets of Sedona for a cup of coffee. I told my friend, David, who owns L’Espressino, that I’d send all coffee-beggars his way. On one hand, I feel sorry for those who have fallen over the edge into obsessive fear and loathing. On the other, we all know that these are the folks who mail envelopes filled with baby powder to the Post Office.

7) Two nights ago, just after dark, an elk ran across my driveway. I THINK it was an elk. Either that or a Russian Tank. Thing was HUGE.

8) Speaking of critters in the driveway, a pack of javelina startled me this past week. Actually, I startled them more than they startled me. They were eating peaches that had fallen from a neighbor’s tree onto my driveway. Questions about javelina continue to rank #1 in questions I’m asked at the store. The Out Of Africa Info. Store in Uptown has live monkeys in the window facing the street. I need a live javelina. That would bring in the business. Maybe a sign that reads, “Wrestle The Javelina! $10”

9) I recently placed a few signs around the store that include info. about the store's merchandise in a number of languages. No, I don't speak Japanese or Korean, so the translations were put together using a free Web service. Yeah, I know those are unreliable, but it's quicker and cheaper than hiring a translator. Anyway, a young couple from Japan were in the store just minutes ago, and they were reading the signage, pointing at the Japanese translation and laughing. They didn't speak English, so they couldn't explain what was so funny, but it makes me wonder about my signage. Hummmmmm. Oh well, at least I made them laugh.

10) OK, quick blog over. Blog more at you next week. Next Sedona Green Blog scheduled for 10-6-08 (or thereabout).